**This entry was written last year for SLAM Magazine's February issue. I'm posting it now because a great deal of insight of what happens during the holidays came through. I found it sad that I didn't have it at the beginning of the season. I've opted to post it now so you get the maximum benefit. Wonderful stuff!**

Like an Insane, Rabid, Machine Gun Toting Bunny,
Along Comes February

As an observer of life, I find something unique and important stands out to me.

October,

Halloween, very social. It's a time when we let loose & have fun with our friends and strangers.
People you don't even know come to your door in disguises and expect you to give them gifts.
This brings out our feelings about public, social and societal relationships within our lives.

Do you go party with friends or in crowds? Enjoy giving out candy to the kids who come by?
Find you don't have the social life you thought, get depressed & eat the candy you bought for the kids?
Do you turn off the lights and watch slasher movies (a pretty loud statement in it's self), and ignore the little beggars ringing your doorbell incessantly?

Your choices and actions here say much about your relationship with society.

So begins the mystical side of our annual 5 month personal journey dubbed 'The Holidays'.

November,

Thanksgiving is like a bright light forcing you to look at how you feel about your friends & family.
Who is it you'd rather spend time with?
Do you dread going home or love going home?
Would you rather just let the day go by or do you begin planning
the menu weeks in advance and start shopping early with love in your heart?

This holiday has us review how we feel about the people in our personal lives.

December,

December, shines a bright light on faith & family relationships.
Do we stress now or love this time? Do we feel all alone or rejoice in the brotherhood of man?
The gifts and experiences here tend to high-lite how well we know or don't know one another.
Are we concerned about gifts or so secure in our relationships that the time together is gift enough?
Then there's how we feel about the faith we follow.
No matter what we feel, it seems the powers that be are shining an inescapable laser beam on the relationships closest to us during this time.

See a pattern here....It's getting closer!

January,
New Years the light is moved to us, ourselves, our accomplishments in life.
What have we experienced, created, destroyed, achieved, etc....
What do we intend to do in the coming year?
We often have had enough of the other spotlights at this point and just blow
this one off with mass quantities of noise & alcohol.
It will find you within the month though.
Other people & their resolutions even random thoughts floating through your mind
will make it hard to remain in denial forever.

January asks us,

Who are you?
Where are you going?
What are you doing with your life?

Soon you feel the pressure lift. You think ~
"Whew! made it through the holidays!
YES!",

Then,
like an insane, rabid, machine gun toting bunny, along comes February.
Do not underestimate the sneakiness of February.
Now the light shines right into the HEART of us!

Passion & romance, it's all around you.
We are pushed to look inward, more deeply this time.
There seems to be no escaping it. How do you really feel about the most personal of relationships?
Are you loved?
Will you let your self be loved?
Are you happy with your love life? Alone & loving it or hating it?
Maybe when you look you find it's better than expected.
Maybe you have Valentine's Day every single day.

How we feel in February tells us much about how happy we are within.
This is the last step of the yearly pilgrimage few of us ever realize we're on.

Hooray for Valentines day!
No matter what you're feeling this 5 month journey is nearly done.
You have 8 months to create the experience you want for next years journey through the holidays.

Ready, Set, Create My Loves!

Hydroplaning through life

Hydroplaning through life

How exactly is it that we can feel trapped,
unable to move yet at the same time like we're spinning out of control?
Helplessly hydroplaning through life in a paralyzed manor.
How do we function a world that seems so clearly conflicted?
What the hell is going on around here?

First Level~
Veils are thinning between dimensions.
You don't have to believe in something for it to be true or for it to affect your life.
So, where ever you stand on the whole veil/multi dimensional thing is irrelevant
at this point my friends. Many different dimensions & beings have been sharing one space all along .
These remained unseen by most people due to very different energetic frequencies.
Seeing or feeling Angels, ghosts, spirits, guides, faeires, extra-terrestrials, UFO's,
all kinds of "weird & wacky stuff" is common place at this point. .
This is caused be the evolution or raising of our frequency individually & as a planet..
It's a very good thing but does require 'life skills' that our public school system currently neglects.

Next Up~
Talk to physicists and they will tell you our Universe is folding over upon it's self....
All realities & dimensions are meshing into one space...
The concepts of time, past & future are illusions.
This means we're currently experiencing each of our incarnations,
all of our possible realities in one space.
No wonder I forget to take out the garbage!
As overwhelming as this might seem for us individually,
take into consideration that everyone else is going through this same thing.
Yikes! It's a wonder we haven't all gone into a massive melt down,
thrown in the towel & crawled into a hole somewhere until it's over!

As if that weren't enough,
The Earth's frequency is rising.
(She's got your global warming right here Buddy!)
This vibrational shift alone is enough to shake you to the core of your being.
It's actually an amazingly beautiful thing to be part of.
Worthy of great celebration!
As we become aware & acclimate ourselves to her higher frequency we begin to really enjoy the ride.
All that we thought we knew we now begin to see, was illusion!
It's the Mack Daddy example of that silly 70's poster with the stressed out Monkey saying,
"Just when I thought I had all the answers, they changed all of the questions!"
A cosmic exfoliation of your energy.
Lifetimes of misconceptions, pain & suffering sloughed off like so much dead skin.
Leaving us with a bight & shiny energy form to carry on with.

You're here on a voluntarily basis
You wouldn't be alive now unless your eternal being chose to come & check it out .
If you are reading this, you have something to experience here that made it worth the trip for you.
Allow your true inner self to flow & be expressed!
If not, you will have wasted the whole trip.

You are Neither trapped or spinning out of control
You've been allowed a rare & magnificent opportunity.
Through eyes of ignorance it seems chaotic and frightening.
Through the eyes of the spirit, relaxed & wise, you can see the beauty of it all.
How many times will all things converge into one harmonious space?
How many times will the Universe fold over upon herself?
How many times will the Earth go through this shifting process?
You must belong here or you wouldn't have made the trip.
Relax, feel your inner rhythm as it moves along with these changes.
Understand that as your frequency changes, so does everything else.
Like tuning into new and different radio stations,
Your life is the live stream expression of your ever evolving energy.


One Light powered by Love,
Taerie Gillan
&
The Mystical Truth

You Are a Fabulous Force of Nature!

Inner Confidence

As I write this, I am staring at the never ending flow of ocean waves along the shore.
This wonderful force of nature questions not what people think.
She never worries about when 'it's just too much'.
She flows.
She flows with the power of who & what she is.
In the oneness of her connection with the Universe, the Earth and all of
the energy moving through her.
There is no doubt about where her place is or if she's 'worthy' of
taking up the space she requires.
In fact if the mood strikes her and the energy is supporting it, she'll take up some more space here on this planet some seem to think is all our own.

Her motives are never unjust or vengeful.
In fact she gives much more than she ever asks in return.
We know that it's a silly thought to stand in opposition of her.
We must simply work with her.
For she is constant and sure of her self.
If it's left to a question of who is the strongest,
I don't know any that would stand and win against her.

SHE has inner confidence!

How is it that we feel so very different from this 'force of nature'?
We are in fact the same.
We are made from the same stuff if you break it down to a scientific level.
We were created by the same...higher power.
We live in the same place intended to do the same thing.
Why would we question ourselves or our place here any more than she does?
It is our purpose here to flow with the energy that moves us.
We often imagine obstacles in our way, put there by ourselves
or others who don't know any better.
But what does the ocean do with obstacles that are in her path? She works around them. Gentle, constant, never ending persistence. She doesn't seem to give them much thought or power at all really. Why do we? So, what is inner confidence?

We are all of the ocean.
We are all of the clouds, the wind, the rain, the stars.
Why then do we allow ourselves to remain cut off from the energy that moves us?
Perhaps it's the constant comparing of ourselves to others.
"I'm not like you or them and so I must be wrong, or you must be wrong
or they must be wrong..."
We seem to hide our inner light and inner being or rebel against
that which we feel makes us feel inadequate.

Perhaps inner confidence is not something to be attained.
Perhaps it's something to be acknowledged from within & allowed to shine through.

Perhaps it's our inner light and inner being in it's most natural state.

Maybe dancing with the energy that moves through us Is inner confidence showing it's self.

Whether we're an artist, musician, author, healer, etc.... when we allow this energy to freely move through us and create a harmonious space for it within,
we have inner confidence because
we are now creating
a comfortable space for our true being.

We are that which created us.
It doesn't matter what name you choose to call it.
The energy is what it is. What it is, is too big for one name.

This is to be experienced, danced with & enjoyed.
For then and only then do we truly let our light shine.

We are the passion that the Universe is expressing.
It is only our own fear or misdirection that creates a distance from our one true home...
our inner self.
It's a beautiful space. There is no other like you.

Comparing ourselves to anyone else,living up to others expectations and beliefs is futile.
Enjoy the dance only you can enjoy with the energy that moves you.
For it can move through no other as it does you.

Throughout time the masses have misunderstood those who think outside the box.
Yet, the people we celebrate and study are ALL people who did exactly that.

Look at the people in life and in history that you most admire.
Examine what it is about them that you are most drawn to.
What qualities do they hold that inspire you?

Now, understand, you could never have seen that within them if you didn't also
possess those same qualities.
We are all made of the same stuff.
You have the same energy running through you that those who inspire you.
Take some time and find examples of those qualities within you.
They may be expressed or they may be suppressed but they must be there for you to have recognized it in another.

Find it, nurture it and focus your energy in those directions.

You are as the Ocean is, A fabulous force of nature!

What Are You Doing?

Looking vs. Seeing

When we 'look', we're cutting off the natural stream of inspiration.
The act of looking puts us into intellect,
disengaging our connection.

Spirit works best when we relax
& allow inspiration to flow....

Know you're one with that which has infinite wisdom & knowledge
of ...ALL things.
No need to 'look' for anything.

Relax, ask and allow yourself to 'see'
what's been there all along.

It's Your Life, See it Your Way!

What sort of vision do you reside within?
What vision is in your future...or should I say, are you in in your future?
We are not able to have a vision for life without at some level seeing our place in it. So, the question for you today is...Where you are now in life?....Did you envision this for yourself? Be honest. Living in the world we envisioned is not always us getting our perfect world. What do you spend your time and energy seeing and knowing about the world. That is what you envision. Where your energy goes to, your state of consciousness, this is what you're 'envisioning'.

Say we dream of a world where people all get along and we have abundance & vibrant health BUT our day to day thoughts and feelings about our now reality are, people suck, everyone is so negative! The oil spill is going to wipe out tons of people & what it doesn't get, tsunami's and earthquakes will. The Government is not doing their job and terrorists are taking over!

Some day....(la la la la laaaa) things will be better because I know that my dream will come true :*) Well my friend.....What you just fed real energy to was your prominent, deep down thought patterns. The dreamy stuff floats on top and the day to day thought process runs the computer or being that you are. This is what's directing your energy, not the pretty little words and fleeting day dreams.

Maintaining a positive, uplifting state of consciousness can be intense & messy work. We are without a doubt swimming upstream at times. It can be beautiful. This road less traveled is wonderful! It's easy to get caught up in the pretty little sayings and motto's. Think about it. The road less traveled means there are bumps, snakes and rocks yet to be cleared since the masses haven't been there to trample everything. Challenging? Yes! If you're truly a person who would choose the road less traveled, rocks & snakes are wonderful to experience. We see things differently than most. We see the beauty in the rocks, talk to them and learn from them even.

I once had a 3 and a half hour visit with the lava at Sunset Crater in Az.
It was one of the best times I can remember. We laughed and healed one another. I chanted for it and in the process the Elk & raven sang back to me. Amazing!
This is the world that I envision!

Where do your boundaries lie when you envision your life, experiences and future?
(No liner time, so here's a wild monkey wrench in your day),
The future you envision is already happening & the past you envisioned is also happening all at once, (Quantum Physics and all). Beware your real thoughts and feelings though because it's not what you show people on the surface that counts. It's what you feel inside and do when no one is looking because that's WHO YOU ARE. That's the part that you shift and work on. Trust me, no one was looking when I hung out with the Lava. Probably a really good thing!

Yet another wake-up call for you. The past we spoke of, if you open yourself up to it you can envision any sort of past you want. For instance, I know a woman who's past was littered with what some would see as negative experiences. Abuse of all kinds from many different people in her family, kidnapped and raped, almost murdered in that experience, many very unpleasant things I wouldn't even speak of here. The list goes on and on though. At one point in her life she was in therapy and hospitals to 'work through' these things. The doctors told her they'd never seen anyone with the extent of negative experiences who'd lived through it. They asked her to please, please write a book if she made it through and out the other side. Even in the dark places she'd been flung into she chose always to push for the light. To not allow the doctors and therapists convince her it was all so horrible.

You see, as she stated the facts of her experience, the people listening would envision it according to their own concepts and state of consciousness. They envisioned an entirely different past than she did even though the facts were all the same. Had she given in to them telling her how horrible it was and that no one could have survived that and go on to lead a happy, productive life, she wouldn't be writing this for you now.

No matter what path you are lead along. there is always a balance of light and darkness. Sometimes one is harder to see than the other but the balance is there. So, we need only to look back along the paths we've been blessed with and as we remember our experiences, choose to look at the bright aspects of it.
Looking on the bright side takes on a much deeper meaning when we take it to this level.

As I looked back over the path they were convinced should have ruined me, I saw the sides of the abusers that were not dark. Of course I was keenly aware of the fact that they had done many dishonorable things in my time with them, but why focus on only that. They did have more pleasant sides as well. I chose to carry those with me and release the other experiences. Now, balance...I didn't kid myself by ignoring the negative or darker part of them. No need to continue the abuse. However, if I was to take energy from those situations why not have it be the music, art, intelligence, and so on. It makes it so much easier to release the dark energy that lingers if I choose to retain the light that was also there.

Our past, present & future are all just like a prism. You hold it up in one spot. The facts of what's on the other side doesn't change but as you shift your perspective what you view & experience does.